Plenty and Enough
"Emma if the thought of meditating is giving you anxiety, there is something seriously wrong with you," declared my mother as I expressed my disdain for seated practice in anticipation of a Sunday afternoon quiet yoga and meditation workshop. I struggle with nearly every activity that involves rest - resting the mind or resting the body. Sleep is like my worst nightmare.
Still I am a person who believes in balance. A hectic workday ends with calming tea and a good book. Suffering is countered by mindfully choosing to do something we love. The ups in our lives give way to the downs and over time, life balances. But balance requires mindfulness and intentionality, which I am quite horrible at. When I'm feeling forceful, fiery and feisty, rather than going on a five mile run or talking maniacally, I should purposefully take a bath (obviously, I detest baths), have a quiet night at home (no champagne, no dancefloors) or sit and just be (torture). I am utterly resistant to relaxing and calm activities. For me, they require much effort; but that which elicits resistance and requires great effort is often that which we need the most. What allows us to grow into balance.
Last night after our meditation workshop, I sat in bed realizing it wasn't that bad. I would likely benefit from meditation. Then and there, I committed to meditating everyday - even if just for five minutes. Thinking about a daily seated practice sparked my desire for a daily yoga practice, an idea I've been avoiding committing to for some time. I decided I wanted to really practice arm balances. And eat a diet free of any processed foods. And I want to make absolute certain stairmaster three times a week. And next week I'm going to go to Bikram yoga with my coworker. I will have weekly dates with at least one person I'm developing. I'm going to have a weekly date with my mom. Oh and take my dog on longer walks. I'm committed to working through my relationship by putting calm and peaceful energy towards it rather than freaking out about everything and speaking to only that. Yes, I'm going to be more present when people are talking to me and make eye contact and not look away or pick at my nails, which I am committed to keeping beautiful and making sure I make time for my bi-monthly nail appointments but that means I have to eat out at least one night less than I normally do so I'm committed to cooking more...
My eyes closed and my mind swirled with the many commitments I intend to make around self-improvement, healthful living and elevating my relationships with everyone right down to my dog. Exhausted from so much thinking, I fell asleep.
This morning I woke up naturally, and before I could remember what had happened last night, I folded my yoga mat in half and sat down to meditate. I set my alarm for seven minutes (stretch goal) and closed my eyes. Most of what I thought of had to do with the actual meditation, but just before the alarm went off, I thought "This is enough." Eventually, I will own my daily yoga practice. Always, I aspire to eat free of processed foods save the occasional tortilla chip binge. By packing my calendar every night of the week, my nails and dog and relationships get pushed to the wayside. I even rush through writing on my blog and editing my book. Inside me, is a huge opportunity to slow down.
But the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. For now, short morning meditation is plenty and enough.
Emma Dinzebach
Still I am a person who believes in balance. A hectic workday ends with calming tea and a good book. Suffering is countered by mindfully choosing to do something we love. The ups in our lives give way to the downs and over time, life balances. But balance requires mindfulness and intentionality, which I am quite horrible at. When I'm feeling forceful, fiery and feisty, rather than going on a five mile run or talking maniacally, I should purposefully take a bath (obviously, I detest baths), have a quiet night at home (no champagne, no dancefloors) or sit and just be (torture). I am utterly resistant to relaxing and calm activities. For me, they require much effort; but that which elicits resistance and requires great effort is often that which we need the most. What allows us to grow into balance.
Last night after our meditation workshop, I sat in bed realizing it wasn't that bad. I would likely benefit from meditation. Then and there, I committed to meditating everyday - even if just for five minutes. Thinking about a daily seated practice sparked my desire for a daily yoga practice, an idea I've been avoiding committing to for some time. I decided I wanted to really practice arm balances. And eat a diet free of any processed foods. And I want to make absolute certain stairmaster three times a week. And next week I'm going to go to Bikram yoga with my coworker. I will have weekly dates with at least one person I'm developing. I'm going to have a weekly date with my mom. Oh and take my dog on longer walks. I'm committed to working through my relationship by putting calm and peaceful energy towards it rather than freaking out about everything and speaking to only that. Yes, I'm going to be more present when people are talking to me and make eye contact and not look away or pick at my nails, which I am committed to keeping beautiful and making sure I make time for my bi-monthly nail appointments but that means I have to eat out at least one night less than I normally do so I'm committed to cooking more...
My eyes closed and my mind swirled with the many commitments I intend to make around self-improvement, healthful living and elevating my relationships with everyone right down to my dog. Exhausted from so much thinking, I fell asleep.
This morning I woke up naturally, and before I could remember what had happened last night, I folded my yoga mat in half and sat down to meditate. I set my alarm for seven minutes (stretch goal) and closed my eyes. Most of what I thought of had to do with the actual meditation, but just before the alarm went off, I thought "This is enough." Eventually, I will own my daily yoga practice. Always, I aspire to eat free of processed foods save the occasional tortilla chip binge. By packing my calendar every night of the week, my nails and dog and relationships get pushed to the wayside. I even rush through writing on my blog and editing my book. Inside me, is a huge opportunity to slow down.
But the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. For now, short morning meditation is plenty and enough.
Emma Dinzebach
Posted by Emma Dinzebach at 1/16/2012 3:26 PM 
Categories: Words of Wisdom
Tags: Emma Dinzebach Emma Dilemma morning meditation daily yoga practice penty and enough life balance
Categories: Words of Wisdom
Tags: Emma Dinzebach Emma Dilemma morning meditation daily yoga practice penty and enough life balance
Excellent post! You're right, type As are the ones who would best benefit from less Power Yoga and more Restorative Yoga. One piece of advice about meditation that someone shared with me is if you're struggling to keep your mind still (or meditation freaks you out, period) start by lighting a candle and watching the flame flicker for 2, 4, 7 minutes. Zoning out on a flame will be your friend! -Emma
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