Alcohol never gave me hangovers. It used to torture my mother because I'd break curfew, be out all night (I was a rebel of sorts), come home obviously slightly intoxicated, then wake up fresh, chipper and ready for the day. She would scowl in my direction as I laced my running shoes and headed out the door for a morning run. While many parents used hangovers as a reliable crutch as to why their teenagers shouldn't drink alcohol, my mother had to be more creative. (I also don't buy the 21 years old thing, but that's a politically-charged and morally debatable post for another day when I'm not...)

A blessing and curse, I didn't have a solid grasp on my alocohol consumption because the after effects were slim to none. This went on for a while - post-college dance clubs, after parties, and skipping around town until everyone else was tired and had gone to bed. Unless I had done something indubitably stupid - like taken a shot of Jagermeister at 4 a.m. or skipped dinner - I was fine to go to work the following morning or entertain out of town family or take a Bikram yoga class. No. Problem. Whatsoever.


This morning I woke up at 6:40 a.m. feeling a bit off. I'm not nauseous. I don't have a headache. No, I'm not pregnant. It's more this tired, aching feeling in my eye sockets that I've recently been referring to as a "grownup hangover." I didn't notice it until about a year ago when I started taking my job more seriously. Determined to do my best and prove my worth, I committed to more sleep and less nights on the dance floor in the off chance those two factors affected my job performance. Plus, my job is so social (complete with dancing) that some days I get home and feel like I've been "out" all day. Social energy requires pique performance; thus the change. Slight change. But change nonetheless.

However slight, the change was enough to transform the dance floor-addicted version of me into a bona fide grownup. If I have too many champagne cocktails or even too much wine at dinner (See also: last night), I get this grownup hangover. Do I feel slightly pathetic that 2.5 glasses of Sauvignon Blanc can induce said eye socket ache pain? And embarrassed that I'm worried the guy in Starbucks can tell? And also stupid that I'm admitting this to public. Yes to all.

"So you have your grownup hangover right now," my friend confirmed.

"Yes. But you know, at least it means I had fun last night!" I exclaimed.

"You did!!! And that's what matters. Wait, what did you do again?" she asked. I hesitated.

"I... well, I painted my nails and watched The Office," I replied shamefully. I saw the look on her face.

Defeated, I have vowed this weekend to wear high heels and short dress and go out dancing and champagning. If I am to live in the age of grownup hangovers, it will damn well be worth it.

Emma Dinzebach